When all else fails...

blog.
What a lonely world we live in, right? With all the advances of technology, it's easier to get online and vent when you are having an issue than it is to go to someone and ask them to go out of their comfort zone, put whichever device they are addicted to down for a minute and just let you cry, yell, vent, be held etc.
So, here I have found myself, all night long, processing the information that my ex husband has moved on, and not only this but to say the very least this has been a long time coming, like the whole last year of our marriage (not counting since I have known of him wanting the divorce). AND not only that either, she and her infant son are living with him. All of that is just icing on the damn cake to be quite honest. I won't divulge the other 12 things on my mind out of respect for him. Can you believe that, I'm still worried about having respect for him. Hmm, that is kind of hard for me to process at the moment honestly.
I have never just lost my temper with him, I have always tried to understand his way of thinking first and I can usually see from most points of view, however the past month I have found myself on 3 different occasions just wanting to lose my voice in a fit of rage screaming at him. Of course this won't happen because it is me we are talking about.
So while they are over there playing happy family (I presume of course) here I sit. Raising these two sweet girls, going back to school full-time, living now with my ex-husbands mother (who is literally the best woman on the planet, no sarcasm on that either) so that my babies have someone around who truely loves them as often as humanely possible in my situation. Not only for that reason, but also so he would know I'm not out acting crazy and partying and hanging out with random men etc. Again, respecting him, what the hell am I thinking, right?
I had so many signs to leave. I really did. Knowing that, I still don't think I would have because I really wanted to show him he should love himself by how much I loved him. Some people just won't understand that way I guess. Maybe God will bless him another way and he will realize. Who knows.

Until then, when all else fails I will probably blog.

I Am Married

Genesis 2:22-24

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.  The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man."  For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

 

August 27, 2009 I made the best choice I might have made in my life, second only to accepting God as my Heavenly Father and Creator. At the time I was 19 living with my current best friend. She and I worked at a restaurant and were fairly active in our social lives, going out or hanging out with another friend or two practically every night. As she and I got dressed for the night, I checked my facebook one last time. I noticed that my first high-school crush was online. I had added him the day before and really thought that never would there be a day he would even remember me. Well, long story short I stayed home from the party and messaged him back and forth until my fingers nearly fell off. We did not stop talking, texting, messaging or hanging out for the next month.

I have now been with my sweet-heart nearly four years. I have followed him throughout his military career from day one, dropping him off at his recruiter to go off to MEPS. We have been through a deployment, we have a two-year-old daughter and two puppies. He and I have been through a rugged beginning, including incidents that possibly only occurred because we hadn't known God's love for us just yet. We can both look back now and be thankful for the hard times.

The bible verse above is the basis of a series called Marriage On The Rock that my husband and I host a weekly group for out of our church. This book (also a dvd) teaches so many principles that many married people never realize. I highly recommend you look into this book, whether you are married or not! MOTR helps one to understand oneself as well as other people. It can definitely be used as a tool for any relationship, but it is based off of God's plan for marriage.

The main thing I have learned in our time together is to out God first, my husband second, my children third, and all the rest will follow.