Goals

2 Chronicles 15:7

But you, take courage! Do not let your hands be weak, for your work shall be rewarded.

When you ask me what plans I have for my future, my usual answer is, "ask God". Surely I have dreams and desires, I just don't know what all of them are, and my dreams change often. 

I know I want to grow in my love for my Lord and Savior every day of my life. I never want to lose him, and I want to lead my family in a great example of Christ-like love! I want to know my bible in and out and know how to relate it to this crazy-real world.

I pray that I will be an amazing, out of this world wife in my husbands eyes and that I help God keep him happy for always. I pray we show our children, and this world a true marriage on THE ROCK. I pray we forever remember our hard times so that we know marriage does take work, and we have made it through entirely too much to ever quit on each other.

Right now we are actually trying for a second child. I don't know if it is so much trying as it is not-not trying! Haha! We both hope for a boy, but know that a girl would make us just as happy, as we've been shown that before. The both of us just want to have a good pregnancy experience now that our relationship is stable. We want to see what God had in store for us when done his way.

Mainly I pray that when and if God blesses us with another baby, that we both love our children just the same even though they will have come from two completely different times in our life. I pray we don't let our feelings toward each other in the past harm our first-born any more than they have and that forever she feels loved just the same as a possible new child. My heart hurts thinking about all the things she didn't have that a new baby might have. I know it will shape her personality, I just hope it is in a positive way!

Concerning my husbands military career, I hope he stays happy with whatever he chooses, and that the Lord make a way if it ever be that he may need to get out and venture into a career outside of military life style. All I know is I want him safe, happy, and confident in all his choices.    

When it comes to my career, I want to have confidence in myself, and be happy as well as support my family. Like most, I'd love the dream job. Thank the good Lord that I am in the beginning process of this as I started with Mary Kay May 9, 2013. I have so many possibilities and it is all up to God and how much work I put in. My Mary Kay short term goal is to get my Perfect Start Pin, Power Start Pin, and my Pearls!!! Within the next year I want to achieve the second level of car bonus and get the MK Mustang! I would love to be able to retire my husband off of my MK income and help my children through College wherever they might want to go, if they want to go.

I want to make it out of the country, even if it is just once. Mexico or Canada would even be fine with me, I just want to be able to say I've been elsewhere.

I want to start a Fundraising Foundation one day, I just do not know what for quite yet.

I hope to gleam Christ' love everywhere I go and be humble all my days.

Sadly, I know I am a sinner and sometimes I will just have to apologize to my Lord and the people I hurt along my life journey. I can only pray to receive forgiveness, and repent!

Half way there!

Deployment's almost over!
We're at our half-way mark folks! I am overly joyed, and going to pray even harder than before. I figured things would be easier than they have been; it isn't so much that life has been more difficult, as much as it is that it's just more stressful. For the majority of a year once this deployment is over I will still be living away from my husband though, and I am somewhat excited about this. I believe it will give lovebug & I a fresh start, a way to let us appreciate each other again.
I'm worried for the pain it could bring our daughter, however we came to the conclusion that it should be better for her to stay where we plan to be long-term vs. moving for a few months then coming back. Routine wise and for family reasons it just seems better for her. It was an easy decision to make when we made it, probably for selfish reasons on my part. Of course, things have changed since then and I feel I'm going to regret having made it, however the decision has been made & it is one we need to stick to. I would love to share pictures & details but this is anonymous for a reason so I suppose I don't want to ruin that aspect.

I plan to be on here more often starting soon, I had my top two wisdom teeth removed last Friday and am just now getting back "up to par". Get ready for some rowdy blogging! ;)

Sincerely,
Dying to hug & kiss him! 

I've Got the Blues

This ain't your Mac n' Cheese Blues
 It's the my husband & baby-daddy's deployed and I'm left to fend for myself blues.
Watching my baby girl miss her daddy hurts my heart. Watching my mother-in-law attempt strength talking about her baby boy being gone hurts my heart. Seeing him on the other side of the world via skype hurts my heart.
To give you a little preface about my marriage, we've been married about a year and a half, been together 3 years next month. Out relationship began a month before his basic training, although we knew each other 4 years before we became "us". A while into it we tried for a baby for a few months and right as we decided to stop trying, we found out we were pregnant. Now we have a 17 mo. old and all the stress of the beginning of marriage along with military stresses. Needless to say, life has been crazy for us.
Last month, we both came to individual decisions about our religious beliefs. Oddly enough, both practically at the same time and for the same reasons for the most part. Since then our relationship has done a 180 and we both feel that things are turning around. God is helping us. I'm not going to doubt God, but if you do then I encourage you to watch my relationship blossom, because I can promise you that is God's work at its finest.
I'm so anxious to have my husband home. I miss all the obvious things, the physical aspects, but so much more than the physical is the mental. The connection we had when we got together, it's blossoming again and my heart is overwhelmed with comfort when I think about the beginning of next year when he is back in the states.
I miss the freckles on his ear & the way he used to hold my hand in the car.
I miss silly pictures with him & taking naps on the couch in his arms.
I miss my daughter getting excited about daddy coming home & I miss his morning kisses.
Deployment, please end pronto.
Sincerely,
Lovebug's Lovebug

The Beginning of an "Era"

Its the little things...

Yes, the little things which have brought me time and time again to the thought of starting up a blog for the first time since I was something like 14 and Xanga was a cool place to hang out. I find that I keep plenty of thoughts to myself, and it's time to let the world hear them... per-say. 

Fascinating thoughts

I will probably end up blogging about more than I could list, but the major points in my life will most likely end up surrounded around:
Family (and the ups and downs involved with each branch of the tree)
I have a husband who is finishing up his military contract within the next two years, and my daughter and I are currently dealing with his one and only deployment. He & I have been through a few things more than most 22 year olds, married or not & I wouldn't change him for the world. We're coming up on 3 years spent together at the end of August. 
Our daughter is a 17 month old giant, the size of most 2.5 year olds we run into, due to her daddy being 6'4". 
I am not close to any of my family. By not close, I suppose I really mean I'm rather distant from them. I have means to contact them but prefer not to for many a different reason. I'm sure some of these reasons will appear in my blog accordingly. I DO have a friend of about 15 years whom I consider a sister. I'll just call her SD for short. She is currently my room mate and will be so until at least when my husband makes it back to my arms safely.
My in-laws; Let's call my husband lovebug just because it is embarrassing and he will be thrown by it. Well lovebug's parents are split, have been for quite a while. So, my mother-in-law's side is definitely closer to me than my father-in-law's, but I can't wait for the day where both sides can accept me and call me up for anything.
Books
I go on random sprees where I can't stop reading, then I have a dry spell for up to years at a time. We'll see what I read during this said blogging era of mine. Currently I am on book 2 of the Fifty Shades series. Book one seemed like it had a little too much hype, good book but no better than I would expect any romance novel to be (I'm usually not into romance novels). I don't have a usual book genre, or movie genre for that matter. I'm fairly well rounded.
Health & Wellness
I have lost 30lbs. within the past year; really it was within a matter of something like 3 months, but with deployment and moving and coping I can't say I've continued to lose, but I have maintained perfectly! I am still in a good workout habit but not up to par with where I was during my weight loss. I was also eating a more rounded diet until the deployment showed me my way back to my sweet tea and fast food. I will conquer these issues before deployment is up. AND I will be able to do a pull-up before then too, no help needed!
Children
I am a mommy and a nanny. I like to teach! I'm currently teaching the 3 year old sign language and her abc's as well as shapes colors and numbers. My daughter joins in when she can sit still for more than 5 minutes. I love doing crafts with them both and can't wait for the 3 month old to get up and moving!
Religion
VERY recently my husband and I both found ourselves at a pit-fall both as individuals and a couple as well as a family. We have turned to god through tough times, and you can ask anyone who knows us, it's beyond unexpected. However, I find myself more convinced each passing day and can't wait til I find the right church for my family so that I can engross myself in learning His word and finding the faith I have been looking for since adolescence.
School
I went to UTA for a year before overworking myself by having a part-time job a full-time job and being a full-time student. I lost my scholarship and gave up entirely too soon. I am currently enrolled in Meditec. It is an online school offering multiple choices. I have found myself at a stand still with my schoolwork since deployment began as well. Slowly but surely I am achieving minute amounts each day. I am about 7/8 of the way done with my first certificate and have two more following completion of the first. Once it is all said and done I will be certified in Medical Transcription, Billing & Coding.


Well I suppose this is enough about me for now. Let the blogging begin!
Ta-Ta my new found friends.
Sincerely,
HOW DO I WORK THIS THING!