Not Your Average Middle School Crush

1 Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Let me set the stage. It takes place at a school dance in a Intermediate/Middle school cafeteria. Tables pushed against walls and songs that should not be playing in a middle school echoing the room that at the time looked so huge to our 4'10 inch bodies. Random pre-teens scatered about in cliques and by their lonesome selves at the few cafeteria tables pushed against the walls. 

I am dancing my awkward white girl dance when I spot him, or maybe he spoted me. I really do not recall what happened anymore when it comes down to small details. When it comes down to it the basics are that eventually, before the night was over, a mutual friend introduced us and I fell in some serious puppy love. For some even number of months that I can't seem to remember exactly either, I was so wrapped around this football playing, shaggy hair having, shy but goofy personality of a cute CUTE boy. He was really great to me for us being so young. As I write this blog and realize how long it's been since I "forgot" about him, it's strange to think about how things changed and how I let society shape me. We had a relationship that in my mind now as a married woman trying to think back something like 9 years, very possibly could have led to a marriage.

I used to desire to spend every second with him. I remember our first date, however not our first kiss! My grandma (who raised me from age 11 to 18) sat a row behind us at a movie. I believe it was the first Lord of The Rings! How silly! I know his mom didn't approve of me, but she was always so accepting. I didn't see much of his dad. His adorable little sister, Payton, used to spy on us and try to hang out with us every chance she got! He was so annoyed back then, but God sent her in (or maybe it was just his Mom!) for a good reason.

I let peer pressure take hold of me. Caught in the hormones, worldly influence and lack of role model or religion in my life I ended up breaking up with him! I was upset because he wouldn't take it to the next step/level with me and I thought that meant he didn't "love" me. HOW RIDICULOUS is that!? 

I remember writing him a very long letter that summer and asking for him back. My heart was as crushed as a 13-year-olds heart could be when he didn't respond. All during high-school I hoped to end up in a class with him, and of course that never happened either. The few times that I did see him around at school (which was literally less than 10 times in my four high-school years) it brought all the pain and realization back to me. As I dated numerous guys on and off through-out high school I could have had such a great guy by my side. Of course there is no telling why we weren't meant to be, and I am content with that, but this blog topic definitely caught me off guard and made me remember so many silly things that happened while I was young.

I pray for the best for this man (Ryan S.) who is now probably doing great things with his life, and while I apologize for any hurt I might have caused his fragile pre-teen heart I know we are both better for it and are both where God intended us to end up individually. I hope he forgives my lack of self-respect as well as whatever rude things I am sure I had to say to him when really I was in the wrong.

I pray my daughter can run into a guy like that at a young age, only being raised by God-fearing parents I hope she makes more wise decisions than I did at that point. I pray she has a head on her shoulders and doesn't give into the peer pressure surrounding her, but instead gives in to putting God and his views and plans for marriage into her life.

God intended for us to wait for the right person, even if it isn't sex that we are talking about. Emotional investment, and all steps leading up to sex should happen over a LONG (think multiple years, sometimes 10 or 15 years!) period of time and serious commitment (MARRIAGE) to one another.

This blog topic makes me realize just how important it is to wait until marriage under GOD'S views to start being sexually active. Just because the world and your peers tell you it is okay, or it is the only way, that is not the case.Wait, make it be worth something. Your body is not other people's business, it is your temple for God to protect, let him do his job!